Dealing with life isn’t always easy. Whether it’s anger, jealousy, death, sadness, or anything else that we experience that causes us to experience negative energy or to be down in the dumps. You always hear “Just let it go” yadda yadda yadda… and while this is true, you can’t “just let it go” until you are completely finished with it. You have to put your boots on and walk through the deep muck. It’s going to be heavy; you’ll feel the weight in your mind and your body. It’s going to hurt and it’s going to SUCK. It’s going to suck big-time.
And whether you are going through something yourself, or you are watching someone else go through something, the point is you HAVE to let all those emotions flood in and experience them. You have to let yourself feel what is happening. You have to pay attention to how this muck makes you feel and where in your body it affects you. You see, things that hurt you are not only affecting your mind, they affect your body, and that in turn affects your health. Your heart races and palpitates, maybe you get a headache or stomach ache, or maybe you can’t eat or eat too much. Everything that affects the mind affects the body.
You have to do the things that make you experience your pain, so if you need to cry, than cry. If you need to scream, then scream, but you DO need to go with the flow of your emotions and let them happen. If you push them aside, trust me, you’ve done nothing except prolong your pain.
Phone a friend, but pick one who will listen without judging or commiserating. Write a letter or journal your thoughts. Writing a letter to someone causing you distress is wonderful and you DO NOT have to send it! Sometimes it helps to write it all down, as there’s something very cathartic about writing. Go outside! Sitting around indoors is not helpful when you are “stuck”. Get out into the fresh air! Take your dog (or someone else’s if you don’t have one) for a walk. If you need professional help by all means find it! There’s certainly NO SHAME in needing help!
As time goes by, and sometimes it goes quickly, but sometimes it does not, you can begin to look at that pain with fresher eyes. You can begin to find lessons in pain because you are letting off your steam, letting out your pain by expressing yourself and going through it rather than around it. Soon you will think less about it and you will be able to replace some of those old thoughts with positive new thoughts.
If you want to cope, you must go through all the shit… and turn it into sunshine.
I love this quote so much I whipped up some cool merch! Click any image to see all offered!
What is your MBTI type? And are you, at all, suggesting 1) to distract yourself by going for a walk (any activity, or is that just for sunshine to affect biochemicals to keep from depression while you think and feel? Or 2) that communicating to the person would not be better than writing and not sending?
I am suggesting that people grieve in different ways and none are really wrong. That getting ones self out of the cloud of negativity (whether anger, jealousy, sadness, etc) by taking a walk is a way one might find comforting. Also, communicating directly with a person is great. Provided that is a healthy option which is not the case oftentimes – whether mentally or physically healthy or safe.